However, the rapture did not last long. After a month, my Mom was suspected of having a Head & Neck Malignancy. She had to undergo so many ancillary procedures & laboratory tests to confirm the primary malignancy. I was still hoping then that it was not cancer, it couldn't be! But it was indeed the deadly C...a slow growing Pancreatic Gland Cancer. I couldn't believe it...or I just couldn't accept it. I was so heart broken...I did nothing but cry all day & all night ( almost forgotten that I have a new life growing inside me ). Everybody thought that I would lose our baby. But Angelica survived. "We" were with my Mom in all her sufferings, in everything that she had gone through... from the diagnostics to the Chemo & Radiation therapy sessions...Angelica & I were there with my Mom.
Before Angelica was born, I couldn't forget what Mom said "Gusto ko pang mabuhay so that I can see my apo!". My Mom took care of Angelica when she was still a baby. She lived until Angelica was almost 3 years old. She lost her battle in June of 2005. I lost the greatest woman I have ever known & had in my life. I felt as if a big part of me died with her. My Mom was truly a big loss for me & my Dad.
I always reprove myself when I start thinking that God gave us Angelica in exchange for my Mom...my baby's life in exchange for my beloved Mom's life. I know that God is not like that! Soon I will understand His reasons...His plans...His answers.
1 comment:
After all those miscarriages, I think God finally gave you Angelica to give more quality of life to your Mom's last few years :)
i have another award for Ninang - http://mommychechemd.blogspot.com/2009/04/thanks-for-this-award-twinkie-i-sooooo.html
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