Mom's Typical Day

Everytime I wake up in the morning, I seem to do the same things everyday...so routinary! Others might think what a boring life I have. For me, it may not be that boring after all...because I see each day as a challenging & exciting another day...not just another ordinary day. It could be another day of new challenges in my life as mother, wife, daughter, friend & doctor.

I always look forward to new discoveries in my children's growth stages. I find them very interesting because they can teach me a lot. Parenting has become my favorite concern. It seems like a continuos learning process, wherein my kids are my best tutors & my experiences with them are my best tools. I learned the importance of my children's individual characteristics... each one has his/her own unique essence. So I feel that I don't need to follow anymore the guidelines written in my favorite parenting books as strictly as I thought. In every skill that I master each day, I feel as if I received another medal of accomplishment...for another triumphant day. Would you agree with me that a Mom's life in every day of her life is truly interesting & exciting...& so fulfilling?

Whe I reviewed my daily "to do" notes, I noticed that my day is typically loaded with Mommy activities...they overwhelm my other daily tasks. Here is an example of my to do list (during school days).

6:15 AM - wake up!!!...say morning prayers
(ask yaya or do the following with yaya's help)
- prepare kids' breakfast & their lunch boxes
- prepare their uniforms, shoes
6:30 AM - wake the kids up!!! usually takes 15 minutes of "noise making" before they
finally get up
- kids eat breakfast...keep on prompting them to eat fast (or they'll be
late for school)
7:00 AM - kids should be in the bathroom for a quick shower, brush teeth
- dress up
- fix Kakay's hair
- make sure that they are wearing their i.d.'s
- check their bags & lunch boxes
7:30 AM - off to school (Kakay) ... sometimes I need to drive Kakay to her
school when their father is not around
7:45 AM - wait for Justin's school bus & see him go
8:00 AM - time for breakfast...finally!!!
8:30 AM - check e-mails, read news in the internet
9:00 AM - take a shower
10:00AM up to ? - clinic...work!!!
...often times I have luch late, past 1:00PM :( , depending on the
number of my patients. 3 PM is my latest lunch time
- Hospital rounds will follow right after my lunch
3:30 PM - Yaya to pick up Kakay from her school
- Justin will arrive from school
4:30 PM - check Kakay's Assignment notebook for homeworks & schedule of quizzes
- Justin's tutor will arrive before 5PM
- let the kids rest & have snacks
5:00 PM - teaching time (Kakay), do homeworks, review, advance study
6:30 PM - Dinner time
7:00 PM - kids take shower, brush teeth, put on pj's
- review Kakay some more if there are scheduled quizzes for the following day
- review Justin ( in case his tutor missed something)
- check their bags if all books & notebooks are inside, sharpen all pencils
8:30 PM - kids should be sleeping by this time
- check e-mails, update Facebook & Multiply sites, blog if with spare time
10:00 PM- say evening prayers...then hit the sack...finally!!!! - if there are no
calls from the hospital

This is my typical daily schedule from Monday to Friday. There are some changes during weekends though...you can see that my duties as a mother rule my daily list of activities. I love it when I accomplish my to do list everyday!

Help me discipline my kids...

" If you are a parent, recognize that it is the most important calling and rewarding challenge you have."
- Marion Wright Edelman


Yesterday morning, I was surprised by my daughter's behavior, she was irritable, shouting at & blaming her nanny for being frustrated about something...she wasn't her usual self. I got upset & couldn't control myself from scolding for such misbehavior.I couldn't forget how she looked at me...I was not so sure if it was a look of fear, pain or confusion. This suddenly reminded me of what I learned from the various books on discipline. I treasure the lessons I got from "Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking" by Jerry Wyckoff & Barbara Unell.

It is a beautifully written book that shows how to teach appropriate behavior & to raise kind, resilient, & caring children. The authors proved that the truly effective discipline is all about education, not punishment. It has taught me practical ways on how employ plenty of common sense & a lot of love to teach my children invaluable life lessons.

I realized that maybe I was preoccupied with my patients' medical problems that's why I have forgotten to take care of my own domestic distress. I reviewed the "pearls" I collected from this indispensable book. So, I sat back & reviewed the book that has been resting on my bookshelf for a couple of years. It felt like I find so much relief whenever I read this book...it has been my allay in shaping my children's behavior.

I want to share with you the priceless "pearls" :

The ABC's of Disciplined Parenting

* Decide on the specific behavior you would like to change.
...if you focus on specifics rather than abstracts, you'll manage better

* Praise your child's behavior.
...don't praise your child, but rather praise what she is doing; focus your praise or disapproval on your child's behavior, because that is what you're interested in managing.

* Continue the praise as long as the new behavior needs that support.
...praise motivates your child to continue behaving appropriately

* Try to avoid power struggles with your children.
...use techniques like Beat-the-clock ( a motivational technique that uses your child's competetive nature to encourage her to complete tasks on your timetable )
...this reduces parent-child conflicts because it transfers authority to a neutral figure e.g. a timer

* Be there.
...you don't have to be with your child every minute of every day
...just remember that your childr needs fairly constant supervision; pay close attention so that any misbehavior won't go unnoticed or uncorrected

* Avoid being a historian.
...leave bad behavior to history and don't keep bringing it up because this will just constantly remind your child of his mistakes leading to resentment & the likelihood of bad behavior

* Spanking & Shouting are counterproductive
...they never teach appropriate behavior
...all degrees of shouting & spanking give the child the wrong kind of attention
...they are punishments that simply drive bad behavior underground: it stops the behavior from happening in front of parents, but it does not stop it altogether
...they will just help the children become experts at not getting caught
...children see the world in concrete terms, they will assume that hitting must be permissible because their parents are doing it to them...HITTING BEGETS HITTING, as well as anger, revenge & breakdown of communication between parents & children.
...NO POSITIVE consequences result from spanking

* The most important factor in building and maintaining empathy in children is respecting their individuality by modeling empathy.

* Practice Self-talk
...defined as what people say to themselves that governs their behavior

These are the practical tips in raising responsible, self-sufficient & empathetic children. I hope you find these useful in your own household. I'm sure all of us parents have encountered ( or will encounter ) parenting conflicts in our lives & some of us thought that by spanking or shouting we could control our children & teach them that we are in authority & we have more power over them, therefore their own feelings were commonly ignored...we sometimes forget to respect our children's competence & individuality! Before we solve our children's behavioral problems, we have to resolve our own attitude dilemma... we need to have self-control & self sufficiency. We should model the kind of behavior we want to teach.

I hope you'll find this helpful, Che! I know that you still have a long way to go...but the preschool age is the most demanding & challenging stage! Good luck!

What Am I To My Children?

I am a Mom for almost 9 years now, and it was only last night while I was sitting in my office that I gave these a thought: What am I to my children? How do my kids perceive me as a parent...as a mother? Do we have the same level of perception?

I want my children to look at me as a place where they can find comfort, someone they can TRUST. The simple gesture of giving my hands for them to reach out and grasp, singing lullabies & cuddling them while putting them to sleep or just being by their side to calm them when they're upset are my ways of showing them that they need not be afraid to come to me because I am their Mom, their comforter!

I want them to look at me as someone whom they can lean on... their Mom whose heart always understands & doesn't judge. I shall be their source of wisdom & model of noble conduct. I have to be their strength when they are weakened by the countless tribulations they will encounter in their lives. I am the source of loving advice. They need me to guide them in their journey to the mysterious & bewildering paths of life. I'll be their untiring Mom...who wishes to give them the best of everything.

All of the things I have done for them are a reflection of my unbounding LOVE. I hope that in my children's eyes, they could see me as the parent whom I ought to be!