Love Language

After reading Chis' new entry in her blogsite (www.mommyjourney.com)about Communicating in your Child's Love Language, I was made to analyze each of my children's unique expression of love. It's truly amazing to find out how different their love language is. I made a recollection of moments with my children that I can never forget and examine each one's type of love expression...

...my first born, Justin is the type who perceieves love through acts of service. I notice that everytime I prepare his meals, put him to sleep, fix his toys, help him with his schoolwork, he always flashes a smile that really warms & melts my heart, then he will hug me tightly & say "Thank you, Mama. I know that you love me because you are doing all of these for me!" Whenever I hear him say these two lines, I really cannot think of anything to say, so I'll just embrace him tightly...I know this action tells him how right he is, that I truly love him very much. Even without saying it, I know that Justin understands everything I want to say! In return, I know that whenever he does something for me, like helping me with my chores or volunteering to do simple errands or just simply behaving...he is saying "I love you" without words. Now, I realized how to communicate love well with my son.

...my daughter, Angelica, on the otherhand, is one who needs to constantly hear compliments & receive gifts to let her feel that we love her. But I also see that Angelica is a very thoughtful child & very sweet. She is fond of making simple cards for everybody in the family even if there is no special occasion. In her cards, she expresses her love...there is always the words: I love you! So, I believe that Angelica's primary love language is gifts. She also loves to hear us say how pretty she looks & asks me all the time if she did well in activities like in her swimming class, in her drawings & scrap arts. She, in return is generous in giving compliments to people close to her. So she also has a love language of words of affirmation.

I agree with Mr. Gary Chapman that a child may likely express love in the language he desires most to receive.

Thanks, Chris for sharing this important and interesting topic in Parenting... by reading & understanding the different child's language of love will somehow make it easier for parents like us to understand our children & be able to let them feel love in ways that they can easily understand.

Countdown to 12...

Soon my husband & I are going to celebrate our 12th Wedding Anniversary. I was roused to reminisce the memories we made together for the past 11 years.

The first 2 years...
"In LOVE, each man is his own personal challenge."

...not so long ago, I was a blushing bride who trembled with excitement, anticipation and fear...of what? Because I knew that as I accept the ring that would symbolize our unbounding love, I also needed to embrace the new challenges expected of my new role as a wife. I was uncertain of what would happen after that special day...the day of the pronouncement of my obligations not only to myself but to the new person who became my better-half! We vowed to think, act & feel as one being without forgetting our own uniqueness & selfrespect. I did not anticipate for a marital bliss at once. I knew that we had to strive for it. There is no guarantee of a 100% obstacle-free union, that's a fact!

The third year...
"We are one, after all, you & I, together we suffer, together we exist & forever will create each other."

...the first 2 years ensued uneventfully, probably because the sacred vows were still fresh in our minds, so it was quite harmonious! This year was the time for discovery & adjustment. Both of us gradually & surprisingly uncovered each one's good qualities & shortcomings. We learned to accept our flaws & tried to change for the better, there were times when it seemed so hard to do. The next thing was more troublesome...to adapt. Sometimes, we didn't know who really needed to adjust in order to tune in to an "ideal" relationship.What I learned was that it's difficult to change the person's innate character & how one was raised. It would be less tedious if the person you're trying to change is willing to accept change!

...this year, Justin Cedric came to our lives. There were beautiful changes that made our union happier. Our baby boy was our sunshine...he took all our blues away!

From the fourth year onwards...

"Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself."

...still striving to put up a "perfect relationship". There were trials that made our marriage stronger. On our 5th year, God gave us His greatest gift: our daughter Angelica Ysabelle. We felt so blessed because we never expected that our dream would ever come true. She was a big factor that kept the bond tighter!

We both felt that our family is now complete. We already have a family to nourish with endless & unconditional love; we have more lives to care for. Our children need us for guidance & to instill in them the virtues handed over to us by our own parents. We have so many plans for our kids. We want to give them the best of everything, to make their lives comfortable while keeping our lives as simple as possible. Whenever we make plans, we always have our children (& our fathers)in mind as our priority. We don't feel neglected about anything that concerned our children...he'll understand if I needed to spend more time with the kids or have them invite themselves to sleep on our bed (they love to squeeze-in often)or if I consider first what they want to eat or what they need. We silently promised to ourselves that we will always understand.

I don't know if being parents has made us both more resilient & open to suggestions & criticism...possibly, I think! I noticed that we became less stiff & more jovial, we can crack jokes every now & then, play around with the kids & enjoy bonding time without necessarily going out & spend a lot of money on expensive recreations. Our life remained simple but happy & contented.

We surpassed the downpour of trials that almost pushed us to our limits...we thought that it was better to go separate ways...to break the union. I guess God intervened, He made way to forgiveness...He made our hearts meek & forgiving. Gradually, the bond was restored, a better communication with acceptance of each one's fault mend our broken hearts. Everything that hurt us was left behind and forgotten!

As a husband, Orlan has proven himself to his better-half that he is capable of giving so much love (sometimes in ways I don't easily perceive) to his family; a hard worker who strives to attain his set goals; a person close to God who never misses his fervent prayers everyday & every night. He has learned to become a true partner in life! Now, I can say that I have no regrets in marrying him....